La Musique

Monday, February 18, 2008

I took to snowboarding like an ostrich to the sky.

We try, and try, and try, but to little avail, all the while looking incredibly ridiculous. Snowboarding is an excruciatingly humiliating sport.

To be fair, everyone fell. But I guess I just happened to fall a lot more. Frontward, backward, sideways, I fell in every way imaginable. I had barely moved on my board before I fell myself either staring at the sky, or kissing the ground ardently.

Maybe its just my poor sense of balance, or that my body has this strange overpowering inclination to prove the law of gravity in front of five other apparently more physically-inclined guys. Tim and Cyrus were learning how to twist and turn in loops and "S". I was still learning how to stop myself. After a while, I decided that if I wanted to stop myself, I didn't have to do the toeside thingy or the heelside thingy, I'll just simply fall in any way that doesnt involve crashing against someone and will cause the least embarrassment.

My body seems to prefer to fall backwards. The amazing thing is, I don't even realise it until I end up flat out gazing at the clouds with snowflakes dusting my face. Laughter may be heard randomly from some other poor bystander who happened to witness my spectacular fall. And the wonderful part is, it is so, so, so difficult to get up from that position. I found myself frequently trying to get up, then falling back again, and by the time I actually managed to heave myself up into an upright position, there would be this guy not five metres away smiling and grinning to himself for no apparent reason (me).

Oh sure, there was an instructor. I tried vainly, or my body did, to convince him that I was his worst student ever. But he insisted no, definitely trying to be nice there. And at the last part on the carpet slope thingy, while all the rest of the guys just snowboarded, or cruised down on their own speed and will, the instructor was holding my hand as I attempted to even remain upright and avoid crashing into people. It was pretty safe (and terribly shameful) that way, but after a few metres, the instructor decided to be funny and betrayed me!!! He let go of me!!!

Nothing very significant there, until you take into account that an accident-prone unstable female is going down at a relatively fast speed on a crowded hill filled with children on their skis and adults doing doing goodness knows what.

I fell. Without a doubt. Every time he let go of my hand, I fell. After a while I started to literally cling and clutch onto his arm but he adamantly insisted I go on my own and wrenched my lifeline away. I screamed uselessly and cursed multiple times.

There are many things I am horribly inept at, and snowboarding is most certainly one of them.
Hello kindergarten teacher, bye - bye snowboarding instructor.

This is one of the more amusing experiences I have had, so I'm stealing it from our old shared blog.

8:32 PM