La Musique

Sunday, May 11, 2008

I was reading tsubasa reservoir chronicles, and I realised I'm reading it so disjointedly, I'm losing track of the plotline. But that's beside the point.

In the story, in order to retrieve Sakura's lost memories from dimensions beyond, Syaoran sacrifices his relationship with her. The witch told him that he would lose the thing that was most precious to him, and he did, for Sakura could not remember anything about Syaoran when she woke up. Even if she were to regain all of her memories, the parts about Syaoran would never return. And there is nothing Syaoran can do about it.

I wonder what would happen if I were to lose a relationship with someone I loved dearly. I love many people, but only some dearly. If between you and your loved one, one had to die, which would you be? Would you choose to be the one left behind, living with the pain of the loss? Or would you die, and bear the burden of knowing someone out there is dying inside because of you.

I dreamt about dying recently. Yet in the dream, what scared me was not the death itself, but if I could still see my loved ones after I died. My heart cried, for a brother I feared I would never see again after death. When I woke, the pain was so real it scared me. I found that my cheeks were stained with tears.

But then again, I'm the only one crying.

1:48 AM