La Musique

Thursday, June 26, 2008

I feel like panicking over this Sunday's piano recital, but it's small comfort that ernest will be performing with me. Really small comfort. Heck, he'll probably laugh at me while I play.

I can already imagine my doom. It's right up ahead, a hand raised to slap me right in the face.

1. I will be attired inappropriately.
2. I will be unable to bow/curtsey/kowtow properly.
3. I will stumble in every possible area.
4. My memory will fail me halfway and I will sit there, gaping like an electrocuted goldfish.
5. I will attempt to climb into the grand piano in a bid to bury myself in shame.

Oh the horror. First blocks, then piano. Oh and not forgetting PE on Monday.
Let me dieeee.

9:31 PM

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Every once in a while, or perhaps quite often, the need expresses itself. A slight tap on the heartstrings, then a hesitant tug. If I ignore it, it pulls, stretching to break. It's aroused by the slightest things in the randomest situations. In utter exasperation, my gaze is forcefully torn from the books to him.
I can't resist him.

Everything about him draws me, like suicidal moths to a beckoning flame, immersing in ecstasy even as they end their brief, winged lives. He attracts me like no one or anything has ever done. I want to hear him sing. The urge to touch him now is stronger than ever. Oh why must he distract me in times like these. I have no time to attend to you.

He's different, certainly, from others I've come across. Plain and unappealing, he renders them. So what if he's not as mature, or as impressive, he's mine.

Admittedly, I'm unfaithful sometimes. I'm not perfect, unlike him. I long after others for a short, instantaneous while. But I always return. Time is of no consequence here, it is only I who will erode. And he has been with me for quite some time, I will never let him leave.

Mine, I say.

12:06 AM

Saturday, June 21, 2008

I will testify to love

2:21 PM

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Church camp was really really really funspectacularenjoyablecrazythrillingalijwoitslnwrgnwgegw! I'm missing it alreadyyy. Blogging about church camp seems like such a chore, and Lynn has done such a nice chronological report on it already. So I shall just list some stuff that I will remember for years and years to come.

- The insane games in the afternoon. The screaming and all. Haha. I think I deafened some poor souls. There was this game where you had to form the longest line using eight people and their belongings, and the rules was that there were to be no shirt and shorts allowed. (haha) Uncle Joel was like, "Okay, no shirts and shorts allowed right, still got trunks." And he patted his hips happily. But of course not.

This is one of the shots taken during the water games. CAN YOU SEE HOW TALL BROTHER IS ><

Me on a horse. Just to PROVE TO SOME PEOPLE that I really did ride a pony/horse/monster. Initially terrifying because I forgot how tall horses were. And no, that chair was not there to help me mount it. Haha

- Funnite!!! Dancing to the grease song was really quite an all-out crazy high that time, and watching brother act the male lead, swinging his hips and flinging flowers was definitely once-in-a-lifetime! I'm so not going to let him forget that. Never. Watching Lynn dance bollywood wrapped in shawls was also quite relishing, apparently SOMEONE thinks she's really pretty!
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The three beautiful ladies!!! Hahaa. Deb's mom, Auntie Geraldine, and Aunty Wendy! Tada!

HAHA. Look who Aunty Wendy is trying to seduce! It's none other than her... husband! She was sitting right on top of him... passionate love tskk

The guys from some group trying to dance while looking pregnant. They stuffed balloons under their shirts. Hahaa. No wonder I was wondering why Joshua had such a big shirt on... I nearly died while they were attempting to dance. Of laughter...

HAHA. This group apparently got kungfu panda. So guess who this lady here is trying to be!!! Yes!! TADA PANDA! Aunty Linda was splendid. She had us all rolling about in laughter...and that is my sunglasses she had on..

Allen and Lynn dancing to the bollywood tune!! Hahaaa. Lynn you flirt, tsktsk.

Brother and the guys in my group dancing! HAHAA. Brother is like a stick insect. A lamp-post. An abnormal beansprout. Haha. Oh dear, I wonder how tragically I'm going to die when he sees this. Nah brother.. you wouldn't hurt me would you? :p
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This is brother's "partner", Herlina!!! She really went wild that night, our usually guai music intern.
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This is Uncle David and Ashwin. Ashwin went too high dancing. Hahaaaa.

- Bridge, watching bowling, billard after funnite with Valerie, Yiling, Yien, Kaiqing. I never knew I could be THAT BAD at billard. While Yien and Yiling may not have been pros at it, I think I've dug out a whole new level of bad and buried myself in it. Haha.

- Taking photos on the last day, when we were supposed to take a jumpshot, but PASTOR RONNIE TOOK A VIDEO INSTEAD. Haha. How brilliant. It's on youtube, and it's utterly humiliating. Or how many times we tried to take the jumpshot with Yiling, Lala, Sophia and Herlina, but apparently I kept jumping too early, or too late, so that the four of them were in the air, but I was firmly planted on the ground. Sigh. No ear-mind-legmuscle-intelligent coordination.

- The first message on loving God, and trusting him. How we must deny self, and obey Him. What struck me was the part on how rules are really made in love, like why Christians have to marry Christians, why Christians have to stick by His laws. If I love someone, I should trust him, trust in their laws, and obey them yes? I remembered the part about how precious the gospel really is, and why we should share it as it is. : )

- Helping out at the kids section!!!! Oh THE JOYS! I have a new love, Joshua, the speaker's son. He is SO CUTE AND SO OBEDIENT AND WILL DO ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING I ASK HIM TO I can't wait to post a picture of him on my blog. XIONGHAI!!!
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Joshua!!!! I want to kisshugcuddlecarressengulfsnuggle and make him mine!!! All mine!!! muhahhaaaaaa. Someone pleease give him to me as my birthday present..
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Yellow group!!! It's awesome that everyone's so sporting, and fun-loveable! I love my group!!!!
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Everyone in church camp :) AND WHERE WAS BROTHER WHEN HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE IN THE PHOTO HUH. hahaaa. owt4ji9v4oj96t4vsleepingidiotp9tojcqwot942.

10:42 AM

Friday, June 13, 2008

CHURCH CAMP! YAYY There are free pony rides for kids!
Norvin I hope you're okay ><

1:22 AM

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

<3

I'm fishing for a heart
A pure, contented heart
One that will not beat for love
But one that will beat in love
I don't want it pink, or red
I want it in the colour it was originally in
I won't try to change it
I promise to love it as it is
It doesn't need to be a perfect shape
It could have a hole, or several in fact
Lopsided, or crooked
A real heart is one that's been dented
And I'll cherish it beyond time
I don't want to steal one
Or to catch or ask for one
It'll come to me, I'm sure
Might take some time, but it will
It won't stay in a secure velvet lockbox
Tucked, hidden, under my bed
I'll bring it out with me, to share
A love so warm, so natural
It will light up others' hearts
I must be able to hug it
And kiss it ardently
To just caress it
Or snuggle up to it
That's the heart I'm fishing for
A true, genuine heart

12:47 AM

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Repugnantly riveting
Threading through discordants
Clinging to a hope-emaciated soul
Delusions that ravage
Pervading and all-consuming
What will-o'-the-wisp
My will is but a wisp
A wimp, stark useless
You scum
Contemptible riffraff
Vile and abominable
Disdain is but the tip of the burg
Like the ice of cold, frozen indifference
The sheer unfeeling something so detached
So nonchalant, so apathetic
I loathe.

10:22 PM

Saturday, June 7, 2008

To live a life in love ...with You
forever

12:03 AM

Sunday, June 1, 2008

I want to be a godmother.

Liqun: You always say you want to be godmother haha.
Vera: Yup. It's my lifelong ambition. *jokingly*

Then I wonder how much truth/untruth there was in that. Maybe I've finally managed to convince myself that there is no THE RIGHT(INSANE) ONE out there for me. Therefore, my considerate mind has completely eliminated the possibility of marital bliss and zeroed in on the issue of cute, affectionate children. Which is actually not such a tragedy after all. Haha

Or maybe, I've been hearing too much about the pain of childbirth. A few months back, I was still innocently thinking that the process of labour took only 45 minutes or so. Oh boy. Was I enlightened.

Then I thought, there's always painkillers. So I happily discarded the notion of severe, excruciating pain to the deep recesses of my brain (shallow as it is). Then someone decided to inform me on how the painkiller will be inserted into your bloodstream. Apparently, they stick it into your spine, and oh, I'm sure that's not painful at all. Uh uh. Absolutely no pain! Pain free! It's just like oh, stabbing you in the back with a foot long dagger? But let's not get hysterical here.

I wonder what God's plan is for me? Haha.
Please let me be a godmother instead.

5:11 PM