La Musique

Friday, April 10, 2009

enough

Avoidance is good. I think that on nights like these I wish I couldn't think. I wish I wouldn't think so much. Am I reading too much? Why does it anger or sadden me? I'm so annoyed and frustrated at my inability to do, say anything. And then I still remain at an utter loss as to what to do. Again and again. It would just be better to really let it go once and for all. I'm tired of it. WHY keep something near me that will only hurt me time after time?

I won't dwell on it. There are plenty of other things that still drain my energy and willpower. Some things I won't think about. Some things I refuse to cry about, but I know I need to. Sigh. Trust in Christ, Vera. Only God keeps His promises.

I did Campus E with Danette today. How do I describe it? There were times when I felt so hopeless in sharing the gospel, and I wished I could just open my heart to them so that they could see for themselves how much I meant every word I uttered. It was simply inconceivable to me that they could not see the truth for themselves. Or was I the blind one? I feel so blessed to be a child of God, yet so saddened to see others not yet in the family. Yet it is up to God to change hearts and transform lives. We are merely instruments of his will.

Good Friday tomorrow. Puppet show tomorrow. The speaker at the Good Friday service was right. I'm dreadfully longing for my true home. Not just tired of my earthly burdens, but I'm yearning for the day when my Saviour will take me into his arms and welcome me to my eternal home.

This is such a sad post. But I guess I'm sad now.

12:28 AM